If you are in a violent relationship there are three steps you can take.

1. Recognise that it is happening to you

Domestic abuse occurs in all communities, irrespective of age, class, sexuality, race, religion, disability etc. The experiences of domestic abuse will differ with respect to all these issues.

There are a range of typical myths and stereotypes surrounding domestic abuse.

However, it is not the victim's fault, no one asks or deserves to be abused. There are no typical abusers, victims or survivors. Alcohol, unemployment, poverty or anger do not cause domestic abuse although these are factors often used to excuse it.

Be vigilant for the signs of domestic abuse in friends and colleagues. There may be visible bruising, loss of self-confidence, frequent absenteeism, inferior work quality or out-of-character behaviour.

2. Accept that you are not to blame

It is not easy to accept that a loved one can behave so aggressively.

Because they cannot explain their partner's behaviour, many people assume that they themselves are to blame. They are not.

No one deserves to be assaulted, abused or humiliated, least of all by a partner in a supposedly caring relationship.

It is the abuser's behaviour which needs to change: there is no excuse.

3. Seek help and support

The most important thing to do is to tell someone.

For some the decision to seek help is quickly and easily made.

For many, the process will be long and painful as they try to make the relationship work and stop the violence. The prospect of leaving an abusive relationship can be as frightening as staying.

Most people try to find help a number of times before they get what they need, and even after leaving there may still be a risk. Never be afraid to ask for help again.

In an emergency always call the police by dialling 999.