Spotlighting the abuse that isn’t always physical
Over four million viewers of ITV’s Coronation Street have been following a dark storyline featuring coercive and controlling behaviour in a relationship.
The drama focuses on the relationship between key characters Todd Grimshaw and Theo Silverton. Viewers see Theo’s coercive and controlling behaviour towards his partner spiral, with Todd suffering manipulation, insults and humiliation as part of a patten of psychological and emotional abuse. In this case, the abuse also becomes physical.
Sadly, this isn’t just drama for TV. Coercive or controlling behaviour can happen in any relationship, regardless of gender or sexuality. It may come from a partner, ex-partner, or family member. It consists of ongoing or repeated psychological and emotional abuse, involving a purposeful pattern of incidents which take place over time for one individual to exert power, control or coercion over another.
Unlike physical abuse, psychological and emotional abuse leaves no visible marks or scars, but it does have a serious effect on the victim, causing them to live daily with fear, and loss of freedom.
Coercive control became a criminal offence in the UK in 2015. Police and courts can now look for patterns of controlling behaviours rather than specific incidents of abuse or violence. If someone is found guilty of this offence they could go to prison for up to five years, receive a fine or both.
What does coercion or control look like?
In an unhealthy and controlling relationship, the victim often can’t do the things they want to do. Their unhappiness doesn’t matter to the abuser, who often contributes to it. Often the victim is blamed for the abuser’s behaviour.
The abuser may:
- Isolate a person from their friends, family or colleagues
- Stalk their movements or control how they spend their time
- Monitor social media accounts or track their mobile phone
- Make unreasonable demands
- Take control over aspects of a person’s life, such as where they can go, who they can see, what they wear and when they can sleep
- Deprive them of access to support services, such as healthcare
- Repeatedly put them down, telling them they are worthless
- Take control of a person’s finances, giving them an ‘allowance’ or forcing them to take on debts
- Take food away or limit food; this can be connected to saying they are overweight
- Make threats or use intimidation to force a change in behaviour or choices; this can include sex too
- Damage or destroy property, household goods and valuable personal items
- Prevent the other person having access to transport or from working
What to do if you feel you are a victim or know someone who might be
Firstly, you are not alone and the abuse you are experiencing is not your fault.
Police can help. You can report to us online, go to a local police station or call us on 101.
If a crime is happening, someone is in danger or it’s an emergency always call 999.
Making a silent 999 call
If you are unable to talk during a 999 call, you may be asked to cough or press a button on your phone, so the operator knows you are listening. The call handler will then ask you to press 55. This lets them know it is an emergency, and you will be put through to police.
Do not call 999 and press 55 immediately as it might not be registered as an emergency call. Pressing 55 only works on mobiles and does not allow the police to track your location.
If you don’t feel able or ready to talk to us, there are other support services ready and waiting to help and you can find a list covering our area here.
You can find information to help you stay safe here.
If you are worried about someone you know, you can find out how to help them here.
You can also report via Crimestoppers anonymously, who will pass on your concerns to an appropriate organisation. Contact them on 0800 555 111.
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